I heard you were TROUBLE but I couldn't RESIST
by BandDork13
Summary: What if Doug had a girl for a best friend & she came to Vegas with the boys? What if Phil was in love with her and she wasn't real happy about that? Well you're about to find out. Alternate re-write of TIK TOK. Rated M for language.
1. just give him a chance

_**Since everyone seems to be such a fan of Charlie & Phil's relationship I decided to make an alternate story featuring them! Some only have subtle changes like this one but others will be completely different than tik tok. So pay attention! I want to thank you all for your support, it means so much to me! You are awesome & so much nicer than the people on quizilla! Haha. Peace&love. Sarah**_

"Hello?"  
"Tracy, it's Phil."  
"Where the hell are you guys? I'm freaking out."  
"Yeah, uh listen," he paused. "We fucked up."  
"What are you talking about?"  
"The bachelor party the whole night got out of control," he paused again before dropping the bomb. "We lost Doug."  
"What?" panic evident in her voice.  
"We can't find Doug."  
"What are you saying Phil? We're getting married in five hours."  
"Yeah that's not going to happen."

Okay. Wait can we rewind a little, actually a lot I'm sure you're wondering Doug is and how the hell did we lose him? Well that's what I'm here to tell you. And who am I and why should you care? I don't really expect you to care but I can say this is one hell of a story you don't want to miss.

The name is Charlie Shea, one of three of Doug's best friends, the other tow being Phil Wenneck and Stu Price. We grew up in the same neighborhood, went to the same schools, and were always hanging out together. Even when it came to college we ended up at schools near each other. That meant every weekend we were together getting into trouble only college students could find. That's how we met Tracy Garner, Doug's wife to be, she was my roommate. Oh yeah did I forget to mention that I'm a girl? Sorry Charlie is short for Charlaine, which I hate, or Phil likes to call me Chuck, which I hate even more. Anyway I used to be a huge tomboy. I lived to play sports and get dirty. It wasn't as bad in high school when I found some girl friends but it wasn't until I met Tracy that I discovered my inner "hot chick" as Phil bullshit explanation goes. He's been after me ever since. Ha yeah right, I just think I found a good balance of both.

Now when Doug and Tracy started dating I was excited and a year and a half ago I was really excited when they decided to get married. I was super excited when Tracy asked me to be a bridesmaid. But then Doug asked me to go to Vegas with him for his bachelor party I was surprised and so excited I could piss myself. It felt like it took forever for this day to arrive but soon after I try my bridesmaid dress we shall be on our way to sin city.

I examined myself in the full-length mirror. The dress was simple, black, strapless, floor length, and beautiful. I saw Tracy appear behind me in the reflection of the mirror. "Well you look gorgeous, Phil won't be able to take his eyes off you," she said with a smile.  
I rolled my eyes "Yeah well hopefully he manages to keep his hands off me too."

"I don't understand why you don't just give him a chance."

"Because he's one of my best friend, I know how he is. He's all about the chase and once he's got what he wants he loses interest and leaves. I've seen it happen one too many times," I explained.

"Well what about Alison? He married her," Tracy offered.

"Yeah and now they're getting a divorce. The only reason he married her in the first place was because he knocked her up."

All right point taken, " she said as she stepped back holding her hands up in surrender. "I'll go to the study to tell the boys you are almost ready."  
"Yep, I'll be there in a minute." After hanging my dress up nicely, I tugged on my ripped jeans, buttoned up my plaid flannel, pulled out my black converse, and perched my white ray bans on top of my head. I was ready to roll. I found the study door and knocked. Doug and Tracy opened it holding hands. I took one look at Doug and couldn't help but giggle. "You might want to wipe that lip gloss off before we leave. I wouldn't want anyone getting the wrong impression of you in Vegas," I said and finished it off with a wiggle of my eyebrows. He rolled his eyes and swiped a hand across his mouth before grabbing out bags. He even held the front door open for me and closed it behind us. Doug, always the gentleman, if he wasn't like a brother to me I might see why Tracy is marrying him.

"Hey Sid, I just wanted to thank you again for everything you're doing this weekend. We couldn't be more excited," Doug said as he shook Sid Garner's hand. That's Tracy's dad in case you didn't figure it out. To be honest he scared me a little but I gave him a bright smile and a thumbs up anyway to show my excitement.  
"Ah yeah, it's great. You love us. We love you. Terrific. Now talk to me about Vegas. Are you still sure you want to bring the girl?" Sid said but whispered that last part. Guess what? I heard you anyways Sid and besides we were bringing Alan. That's Tracy's brother who is currently sitting in front of Doug's car practically making out with the dog.  
"Yeah I'm definitely sure. It should be pretty mellow. Do some gambling, maybe catch some rays, have some laughs," Doug replied as we walked to the car.  
"Yeah laughs, great. How you getting out there?" Sid then wanted to know. Why does this matter exactly? Can't we just leave already? We're going to drive, take my care, pick my friends up after this."  
"The Prius?" Sid asked skeptically. I let out a laugh. The Prius was a joke. I totally advised against it, as did Phil when Doug bought but did he listen to us? Obviously not.  
"Yeah," Doug slid me a glare.  
"Taking the Prius to Vegas? You know when you go to Vegas, you gotta go to Vegas. She knows what I mean," Sid said while the garage opened to reveal a baby blue 1969 Mercedes-Benz Cabriolet.  
"No, Sid really?" Doug said at the same time I squealed, "it's so beautiful!" With my mouth hanging open, I walked in to the garage.  
"Yeah I mean you're family now."  
"Are you sure? I mean you love this car." And who wouldn't?  
"Doug it's just a car, just make sure when you get there put some armor all on the tired so the sand doesn't seep in, " Sid said.  
"I'll remind him Mr. Garner. Don't worry," I said before I could even think maybe I should just keep my mouth shut.  
"Absolutely, that's easy," Doug said, ignoring me.  
"Maybe she's good to keep around after all, " Sid said looking at me and then adding, "Oh and don't let Alan drive. There's something wrong with him." Agreed but I kept that to myself because I think I just got on Mr. Garner good side.  
"Understood," Doug nodded.  
"Or Phil either, I don't like him," Sid whispered the last part to me even though Doug I'm sure heard it. Truth is Phil is one of my best friends and I don't like him that much either...well sometimes.  
"I will be the only one driving this car," Doug said completely ignoring my disappointed look.  
"Good and remember what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas," Sid reminded us. Doug let out a nervous laugh but was cut off. "Except for Herpes that shit will come back with you."

Right.


	2. i want you

"Do you have to park so close?" Alan asked from the passenger seat. We were sitting in front of the school where Phil teaches. I can't say I'd want my child to be learning anything from Phil ever. What's even worse is he has a kid of his own.

"Yeah why? What's wrong?" Doug asked.

"I shouldn't be here," Aland was attempting to cover his face as if that would help.

"Why is that Alan?"

"I'm not supposed to be within two hundred feet of a school."

"What?" I saw Doug's eyes widen in shock. I just smirked back at Doug in the rearview mirror. I feel like I have a little less to worry about, I don't' think he'll be coming on to me. I'm too old for him. Although I do have to deal with Phil all weekend.

"Or a Chuck E. Cheese," Alan added. I looked over to see Phil finally exiting the building.

"Hey Mr. Wenneck!" a chubby boy yelled to Phil.

"This is the weekend Budnick. I do not know you, you do not exist," Phil said holding a hand up to prevent further conversation. How nice of him.

"It's about time Phillip, remind me again why exactly you became a teacher," I asked sitting up from my lounging in the back seat. I was going to get stuck in the middle seat. I just knew it.

"Shit," Phil said ignoring me to admire the Benz. Doug laughed at Phil's expression, basically a kid on Christmas morning come to mind. "Nice car. I'm driving."

"Whoa no chance, don't step on the, god watch the leather," Doug yelled as Phil tossed his bag at me, stepped up on the car, and dropped into the seat next to me a his signature cocky grin on his face.

"Shut up and drive before on of these nerds asks me another question," he said putting his arm around me. "Hey Chuck, how's it going? Looking good. Who's this?"

I removed his arm while Doug answered, "It's Alan, Tracy's brother."

"I met you like four times," Alan said.

"Come on Phil, how you could you forget Alan?" I said with my signature smirk.

"Oh yeah, how you doing?"

I guess now would be a good time to explain the Phil situation. He's been after me since college, my twenty-first birthday to be exact. We all got extremely wasted and I ended up sleep with Phil. Biggest mistake ever and of course it couldn't have been Doug or Stu so we could just forgive and forget. Even at his own wedding's rehearsal dinner he told me he would trade anything and everything to have me and that it was my last chance to accept his offers. I'd believe it was the alcohol speaking. It wasn't so bad after that; he only made occasionally joking comments to me. Now that Phil and Alison have announced their divorce it has been at an all time worst.

Anyway next we were going to Stu's house to pick him up. "I think you should go to the door, I'm sure Melissa would love that," Phil turned to me.

"That's a great idea! Then Stu would get yelled at and not be able to go so then I'd be stuck with you," I replied.

"Okay Charlie I was just kidding. Chill out," Phil said.

"Are one of you going to go get him or not?" Doug asked impatiently.

"She scares me and besides like I just said I can't go up there. She doesn't know I'm going in the first place," I said.

Phil took matters into his own hands, "Paging Dr. Faggot…Dr. Faggot!" he yelled.

"Whoo Road Trip!" Aland was standing in his seat yelling to the world about our road trip including the little girl next to us. "Vegas Baby! Going to Vegas, you're not!" Alan sat down when the girl flicked him off. We all chuckled in the back seat.

"Come on just until Barstow. Everyone is passing us," Phil continued to beg to drive the Benz.

And Doug was continuing to deny him, "Absolutely not, I promised Sid I will be the only one driving this car. Besides you're drinking."

"Oh what are you a cop now? Come on you know I drive great when I'm drunk."

"That's true, don't forget Phil was always our designated drunk driver. He's better at driving drunk than Charlie is sober," Stu noted.

I him in the arm and then defended myself, "That is so not true, just because I like to drive fast doesn't mean I drive badly."

"You want to explain to them Alan?" Doug said.

"You guys my dad loves this car more than he loves me, so yeah."

And Phil was still not buying it, "Oh whatever, I left my wife and kid at home so I could go with you guys to Vegas. You know how difficult that was?" Seriously?

"That's really sweet, Phil," Alan said proving how truly slow he must be.

"You are such a liar. Do not believe him, sure he has a kid at home but that wife is soon to be an ex. I'm sure he couldn't get away fast enough," I laid out the real facts.

"Dude I was being sarcastic. I fucking hate my life. I may never go back. I might just stay in Vegas."

"Here we go, " muttered Doug.

"You know what Doug, you should enjoy yourself because com Sunday you're doing to start dying a little bit everyday," Phil began rambling his anti-marriage rant.

"Yeah, " Aland said in agreement.

I shook my head, "Number one everyone is dying a little bit everyday and number two just because you hate being married doesn't mean everyone does."

"Of course you would say that Charlie you are a woman. You women are really good at making us believe marriage is the way to go. However, when we men discover the truth it's too damn late." I threw my hands up at Phil's response.

"Is that why you want me so much?" I muttered not intending for him to hear.

Although he did, leaning toward my ear he whispered, "I want you but I don't want to marry you."

"That's why I managed to stay single this whole time you know," Alan said.

"Oh really that's why you're single?" Stu said, who up until now has been usually quiet.

"Yeah."

"Cool, good to know." I gave Stu a 'be nice look', which he returned with a 'what?' look.

"Am I alright over there Alan?" Doug asked so he could move over a lane.

"You're good," Except we so weren't unless you didn't mind almost crashing into a semi. I let out a scream and grabbed on to Phil's arm. I swear I didn't even realize what I was doing.

"Jesus Christ," Doug yelled.

And Stu yelled, "Oh my god!"

Alan began laughing, "That was awesome!"

"Yeah I don't think so Alan," I said.

"That was not awesome. What's wrong with you?" Doug asked what we were all wondering.

"That was insane. We almost just died," Stu said.

"You should have seen your faces. Ha classic," Alan still did not see the problem.

I let Phil slide his arm around me and I let my head fall on to his shoulder. He was comforting me or at least that's what I told myself. Despite all the shit he tried to pull on me at the end of the day he was still one of my best friends.

"That's Funny," Phil said chuckling, earning him a few glares and a smack in the leg from yours truly.

"That was not funny," Doug said sternly.


	3. nevermind

"Boy you've got a sweet ride there," I watched as an old man approached the Benz where Alan was leaning against it. He was in charge of pumping the gas something I wouldn't have trusted him with. He was reading some kind of gambling tips book.

"Don't touch it, don't even look at it. Go on. Get out. You heard me," Aland yelled at the poor old man giving him a strange look. "Don't look at me either. Yeah you better walk on." I shook my head and headed toward the counter squeezing between Phil and Doug to put my Swedish Fish and Coke down.

"He's actually kind of funny," Phil said already eating his bag of lays chips.

"I have to admit he is pretty funny except when he tried to kill us," I agreed.

"Yeah he means well," Doug said shrugging.

"I will hit an old man in public!" Alan then shouted.

"Is he all there, like mentally?" Phil asked. I took this opportunity to stick my hand in the chip bag and steal a hand full.

"I think so, he's just an odd guy," Doug said and I shot him a look. "He's just kind of weird."

"What are you doing?" Phil asked.

"Eating your chips. I figured you wouldn't mind since you love me so much. "

Surprisingly he didn't have a come back to that instead he turned his attention back to Doug. "I mean should be worried?" Phil was quite the curious george today.

"No, no. Tracy did mention we shouldn't let him gamble or drink too much."

"Doug if I end up babysitting him, I will kill you," I threatened.

"Jesus he's like a gremlin. He comes with instructions and shit," Phil said.

"He's hairy and pudgy like one too," I said.

"And one water," Stu said setting the bottle on the counter.

"All good with Melissa?" Doug asked, while I rolled my eyes at Phil.

"Oh yeah, I told her we're two hours outside of wine country and she bought it," Stu said proudly.

"Phil turned to face Stu, "Don't you think it's kind of strange you've been in a relationship for three years and you still have to lie about going to Vegas and the fact that your female best friend is coming?"

"Yeah I do but trust me it's not worth the fight," Stu answered.

"Oh like you have never lied to Alison so you could go do what you wanted to do?" I said.

"Yeah actually I have but we are not talking about me right now Anyway so you can't go to Vegas or hang out with Charlie but she can fuck a bellhop on a carnival cruises line?" Phil shot back.

"Okay first of all Melissa has no problem with Charlie, she would have just thought it was inappropriate that she was coming to the bachelor party. And second of all he was a bartender and she was wasted and if you must know he didn't even come inside her," Stu defended himself horribly. The cashier lady was giving us giving us the strangest look; imagine if Alan was in here too. Ha.

"And you believe that?" Phil and I said simultaneously.

"Uh yeah I do believe that because she's grossed out by seamen," Stu said.

"That'll be 32.50," the cashier said probably because she didn't want to hear anymore of our fucked up conversation.

"It's 32.50, are you going to pay for that?" Phil asked grabbing his stuff and walked out.

As we walked out Stu eyed my purchases, "That's going to rot your teeth you that right?"

"So they are my teeth I can do what I want with them," I replied.

"Yeah but as your dentist I would…" Stu began but I promptly interrupted him.

"I don't want to hear it. This weekend you are my best friend not my dentist. Can I ask you," I stopped that thought with a shake of my head. "Never mind it was a stupid question, forget it," I said marching ahead to the car. Stu gave a Phil a confused look and Phil looked confused right back just shrugging his shoulders.

I have been listening to my iPod because I had some thinking to do. All I can think about was what Tracy said, 'Give him a chance' four simple words but what did really mean. She knows how Phil is just as well as I do. Is there something she knows that I don't, otherwise why would she say that? I took out my ear buds out before I could really overanalyze too much. Besides I think Alan is talking about that damn gambling book. This could be good.

"It says here we should work in teams, who wants to be my spotter?" Alan asked hi nose in that book.

"I don't think you should be doing too much gambling tonight Alan," Doug said as if he were talking to a ten year old.

"Gambling? Who said anything about gambling? It's not gambling if you know you're going to win. Counting cards is a fool proof system," Alan said.

"It's also illegal," Stu said.

"It's not illegal, it's just frowned upon like masturbating on an airplane," Alan was dead serious and that's when I busted out laughing. I don't think anyone knew I was listening since they all looked at me.

"I'm pretty sure that's illegal too," Phil said with a smirk.

"Yeah maybe after 9-11 and everybody got so sensitive. Thanks a lot Bin Laden."

"Either way you have to be super smart to count cards buddy. Okay?" Doug said.

"Oh really?" Alan questioned.

"It's not easy."

"Well maybe we should tell that to rain man because he practically bankrupt a casino and he was a ruh-tard." Yes that was seriously Alan's response. Although I'm not sure what a ruh-tard is, it sent me into a whole new fit of laughter.

"What?" Stu asked.

"He was a ruh-tard."

"Retard," Doug corrected with a laugh.


	4. watch this

We pulled up in front of the gorgeous Caesar's Palace. By this time it was dark and the city was lit up making it just about the most amazing thing I've ever seen. We got our bags from the truck and let the valet take care of the car. Two blonde girls said hi to Phil, normally that would annoy me but the excitement of being in Las Vegas came rushing back to me. This night was going to be awesome.

"Hi welcome to Caesar's," The girl at the counter greeted us. A chorus of hi, hello, and heys came from our group. "Checking in?"

"We have a reservation under Dr. Price," Stu said.

"Okay let me look that up for you."

"Dr. Price?" Phil questioned," Stu you're a dentist. Don't try and get fancy."

"It's not fancy if it's true," Stu was obviously trying to impress the girl.

"You're just jealous that you're only a teacher. I wouldn't want just any asshole working on my teeth, Phil but oh wait," I said. Stu giving me a dirty look, "I'm kidding!"

Phil let out a laugh, "Yeah right. He's a dentist, don't get too excited and if someone has a heart attack you should still call 9-1-1."

"We'll be sure to do that."

"Can I ask you a question? Is the hotel pager friendly?" Alan asked holding a pager.

"I didn't think anyone used those anymore," I whispered to Doug, although this is Alan we are talking about. Doug just shrugged in response.

"What do you mean?" she asked looking confused.

"I'm not getting a sig on my beeper."

"I'm not sure."

"Is there a pay phone bank? A bunch of pay phones? Business," Aland then said. Better question is what kind of business could Alan possibly have?

"Um there's a phone in your room," she said.

Alan nodded, "That'll work."

Getting back to what was really important, "So I have you in a two bedroom suit on floor twelve," she informed us.

"Sounds perfect," Doug said as we grinned at each other.

"Actually I was wondering if you have any villas available?" Phil asked.

"Phil we're not even going to be in the room," Stu said.

"It's not necessary," Doug agreed.

"If we share beds, I'm bunking with Phil. You good with that?" Alan chimed in.

I let out a laugh that earned me a glare from Phil, "Hey better you than me." Honestly I would want to sleep in the same bed as either of them. Who knows what could happen while I'm sleeping.

"No, I'm not good with that. Guys we are not sharing beds. What are we twelve years old?" Phil paused to look at the girl's nametag. "Lisa I apologize, how much is the villa?"

"Well we have one villa available and it's 4,200 for the night," Lisa said.

"Is it awesome?" Alan asked.

"It's pretty awesome," she said with a smile.

"We'll take it. Give her your credit card," Phil said looking at Stu.

"I can't give her my credit card," Phil said looking at Stu.

"We'll split it," Doug said, always the compromising one.

"Are you crazy? This is on us," Phil said turning his look to Doug.

Stu sighed, "You don't get it. Melissa checks my statements." Seriously that's a bit psycho.

Lisa interrupted before things could get ugly, "Well we just need the credit care on file. We won't charge you anything until you check out. So you can figure it out then."

"Perfect. That's perfect Lisa, thank you. And we'll deal with it tomorrow come on," Phil said gesturing to Stu.

"Fine, " Stu said reluctantly giving Lisa his credit card.

"Can I ask you another question?" Alan said.

"Sure."

"You probably get this a lot, this isn't the real Caesar's palace is it?"

Lisa looked confused again, "What do you mean?"

Alan looked at us nervously as we all waited for his explanation, "Um did Caesar live here?" I started laughing. I just couldn't help myself.

"Um no," Lisa replied. She probably doesn't get paid enough to deal with a crazy like Alan.

"I didn't think so."

"Holy Shit," Stu said as we all walked into our villa.

"Now this is Vegas," Phil said turning to give Doug and I a grin. I nodded because I was speechless.

"Oh my this place in enormous," Doug said as we stood side-by-side in the foyer taking it all in.

"Now we are talking, Phil said gazing out the window that looked over the city.

"Is this all one suite?" Doug asked.

"I believe so, Doug," I answered.

"Thank you guys or should I say thank you Stu."

"Your welcome, it's only because I love you," Stu said pointing at Doug.

"Hey what about me? I intend to pay my part of the bill," I whined a bit putting my hands on my hips. "I didn't become a lawyer to be part of the family business I did it for the big bucks."

"Thank you too Charlie," Doug said. I smiled and threw my arms around his neck.

"Hey guys look free almonds," Alan said picking up a jar from the counter in the kitchen.

I wandered over to the window where Phil was standing to take in the view. "Are you sure you don't want to share a room with me?" Phil asked.

"Why waste a perfectly beautiful unoccupied room? I wouldn't want to crowd yours with all my makeup and clothes and hair products. I could keep going. Would you like me to keep going?" I asked looking innocently at Phil.

"No I get it."

Stu rushed over to Alan. "Oh no, no, no, please put those back." He took the almonds from Alan and put them back where the jar once was.

"What I'm just hungry," Alan said in confusion.

"Well I know but," Stu began but was cut off.

"Stu what the fuck?" Phil asked approaching the counter. I decided to follow him.

"Well it's on a pressure sensitive plate. When you pick it up you have thirty seconds to put it back or they bill you, Stu explained.

"Really? That's pretty neat," Alan said.

"Well it may be neat but it's also very expensive. Those almonds are probably like $14.00."

"Stu relax," Phil said taking a shot glass about the same size as the jar and filling it with water.

"Phil, Melissa is like a forensic accountant. She scours my statements. If you want nuts I suggest you put your own credit card down," Stu said irritated.

"This is explains why you are such a tightwad," I commented.

"Watch this," Phil said making sure the water felt like same weight as the almonds. He then set the water where the almonds were, "Problem solved, here Alan. Enjoy your almonds."

"I don't want them. He ruined it," Alan pouted and I giggled.

Phil pulled a beer out of the fridge, "Alright pick a room, get dressed, and be ready in thirty minutes. Think you can manage that, Charlie?"

I scoffed, "Yeah of course, Phillip. Don't worry about it," I answered with a bright grin before taking his beer and skipping to my room of choice.


	5. horrible idea

After checking Doug and Phil's room to find they were empty, I walked into Stu's room to find all three of them. Phil was lounging on the bed. Doug was sitting on a chair in the corner. Both of their mouths' fell open when they saw me and Stu was on the phone so he wasn't paying attention. I grinned and struck some model like poses.

"Well listen I got to go. We're going to hit this wine tasting. Wait, wait, wait I love you. Okay Byeie," Stu ended his conversation with Melissa I'm assuming.

"Will you hurry up and put some clothes on already?" I asked looking anywhere but at Stu. Maybe had it been Phil I wouldn't have minded. He has a nice body. Oh God what am I thinking?

"I'm not even going to say anything, it's embarrassing," Phil's voice caused me to break my thoughts before they got worse.

I turned to Phil lounging on the bed, "What Phil? Just say it."

"Where do you want me to start? That phone call or the fact that you managed to look like a hooker before Stu could get ready?" Phil shot back.

"I'm working on it!" Stu exclaimed.

"Charlie you look amazing not like a hooker though," Doug defended me although I knew I looked hot. I wasn't about to hit the Vegas streets looking anything less.

"Thank you Doug," I said sitting in the chair next to Doug.

"Where's Alan?" Stu asked.

"He went downstairs, said he needed to grab a few things," Doug answered obviously unsure of what that meant.

"Good because I have something to show you," Stu said doing a weird dance move/flexing his (lack of) muscles type thing every two words. I don't know but it was funny, that is until he pulled out an engagement ring.

"Uh oh," Doug said.

I'm sure my face was a mix of horror and panic. I hate that bitch! "What the hell is that?" Phil asked what I was also wondering.

"What do you think it is?" Stu asked too excited to catch on to our looks disgust.

"Well if it's what I think it is, I think it's a big fucking mistake," Phil said grabbing the ring and shaking his head.

"I'm going to propose to Melissa at your wedding, after the ceremony," Stu said.

"That's a terrible idea," I said.

"Stewie congratulations," Doug said as usual being the peacemaker.

"Thank you, Doug."

"That's a beautiful ring."

"Yeah it's my grandmother's. She made it all the way through the holocaust with that. It's legit," Stu explained proudly as he put his pants and shirt on.

"It shame your wasting it on someone who won't appreciate it," I said with a sigh. I mean was a beautiful ring.

"Wait I don't understand. Have you not listened to anything Charlie and I have ever said?" Phil said and turning to look me over once again.

"Phil we've been dating for three years. This is how it work," Stu said.

"A. That's bullshit B. She is a complete bitch," Phil was cut off by Doug.

"Hey that's his fianc ," Doug said hitting Phil's foot.

Phil got up off the bed, gesturing wildly, "What? It's true, it's true, you know it's true. Charlie come on back me up here. She beats him," I nodded my head in agreement.}

"That was only twice and I was out of line. She is strong willed and I respect that," Stu said.

"Wow, wow he's in denial, not to mention she fucked a sailor," Phil pointed out.

"He wasn't a sailor, he was a bartender on cruise ship. You know that," Doug said.

"No Phil's right as much as I hate to say it. You guys have always told me if a guy ever hit me to leave or if a guy cheats on me to leave. I don't how understand how this is different," I pointed out matter of factly.

"You can't argue with Charlie on that," Phil said.

"Guys I'm standing right here so I can hear everything you're saying," Stu said after a moment.

"That's when Alan appeared in the doorway, "Hey guys you ready to let the dogs out?"

"What?" Phil asked at the same time that Stu said. "Do what?"

"Let the dogs out? You know like 'who let the dogs out? Who, who, who," Alan sang that horribly annoying song and danced awkwardly.

"Who brought this guy along?" Phil asked. I smiled and realized I'm glad Alan was there. As insane as he may seem, his crazy antics make me laugh.

"Yes Alan we are ready to let the dogs out. Congrats," Doug said handing the ring back to Stu.

"Thank you," Stu said.

"Let me know when you need a divorce lawyer. I might have to brush up on all that but I'd be willing to do that for you Stu since you are one of my besties," I said getting up the chair to leave the room.

"I don't appreciate your sarcasm," Stu called after me.

"You never offered me your lawyer services," Phil said frowning.

"Honestly Phil, I think it was best I didn't get involved." For so many reasons, I was starting to realize.

We were waiting for the elevator in silence although Phil was studying Alan intently. "You're not really wearing that are you?"

"What?" Alan asked.

"The man purse, you actually going to wear that or you just fucking with me?"

"This is where I keep my things. I get a lot of compliments on it. Plus it's not a man purse it's called a satchel. Indiana Jones wears one," Alan explained.

"So does Joy Behar," Phil countered.

I decided to help Alan out, "So does Nick Jonas and he's pretty popular with the ladies," I said with a smirk.

"He's too young to know any better and so are the ladies who like him," Phil shot back. "Acually don't you have a purse that looks like that Charlie?"

I looked down at it, "I have better taste in purses than that and I don't do brown."I said as the elevator doors slid open. There was a nasty looking guy with a slutty looking girl inside. What they were doing before the doors opened I didn't want to know but I think I have a pretty good idea.

"We're going up," the guy said.

"Yeah that's perfect," Phil said ushering us in.

"We're going up?" Doug asked.

And Phil ignored him but asked me, "Why are you being so nice to him?" He was leaning toward me and whispering in my ear.

"Because you're being mean to him," I said with a shrug that hopefully disguised the shiver that rippled down my back.


	6. theory

"I'm just saying it's clearly marked okay? We are definitely not suppose to be up here," Stu said.

"Oh come on Stu, we're paying for a villa we can do whatever the fuck we want," Phil said.

Stu tried to protest some more, "Yeah but."

However I interrupted him, "Just relax for once."

"Actually just wedge the door open," Phil commanded.

"How the hell did you find this place?" Doug asked.

I took off my heels and waited until everyone else climbed the ladder except Stu who was waiting for me. "Go Stu. I'm going last I don't want anyone looking up my dress," I said motioning up the ladder.

"Charlie I'm not going to look up you dress. I'm not Phil," Stu said like I should know better.

"Fine," I said handing him my purse. There was no way I could hold both and use the ladder.

"Wait Charlie what's going on? You have been unusally untalkative. There's something on your mind, I can tell," Stu said eyeing me uncertainly.

I sighed Stu was my best friend I could trust him, right? "Tracy told me that I should give Phil a chance. There's a small part of me that wants to but there's a bigger part that knows what it will lead to," I explained.

Stu smiled before saying,"Well I knew this conversation would be happening sooner or later before I tell you my theory I'd like to know what you think would happen."

"You have a theory? You spend time thinking about this?" I asked.

"Just tell me."

"Phil would have his way with me, he then would get bored, I'd be the one who gets hurt, and our friendship is ruined forever and ever. Amen."

"You're wrong."

"No I'm not," I disagreed and began to pace in front of Stu, "So what's this theory of yours?"

"Phil knows what he is doing when it comes to women. If a women isn't interested he eventually knows to back off but with you it's different. After all these years he hasn't given up on you. You two are perfect for each other and he knows it. We all know it. I think deep down you know it too. Just think about it," Stu explained.

"I have been thinking about it and I don't know what to do about him for the first time in my life. I've always been dead set against him but now I just don't know. He's got do something to prove that he's serious, that this isn't just one of his games," I said as I came to a stop.

"Are you coming up here or are you too scared?" Phil yelled down.

"Whoa are you kidding?" Stu said taking in the view and handing my purse back to me.

"Alan how we doing buddy?" Phil asked.

"Good," he said fiddling around with some stuff he had brought with him in a plastic bag.

"What do you got over there, Alan?" Doug asked. Alan brought over five glasses and a bottle of Jaeger. "Uh oh a little jaegermeister, good idea." Alan began pouring it into the glasses he handed us.

"This is a fucking fabulous idea, the sooner I get drunk the better," I said.

Stu just shook his head, "No this is good I'd like to make a toast to Doug and Tracy. May tonight be but a minor speed bump in an otherwise very long and happy marriage," Stu gave his little speech.  
We all responded with 'cheers!' and we clinked our glasses together.

"Oh it's like college," Doug said.

"Yes it does bring back memories," I commented.

"Okay I want to talk about something," Phil began to say but was interrupted.

"I'd like to say something that I've prepared tonight," Aland said dramatically taking a wrinkled piece of notebook paper from his pocket. I looked at Phil who looked annoyed and I couldn't help but smirk.

"All right Alan," Stu encouraged.

"Hello, how about that ride in? I guess that's why they call it Sin City. Hahaha. You guys may not know this, but I consider myself a bit of a loner. I tend to think of myself as a one man wolf pack. But when my sister brought Doug home, I knew he was one of my own. And my wolf pack, it grew by one. So there was two of us in the pack, I I was alone first in the pack, and then Doug joined in later. And six months ago, when Doug introduced me to you guys. I thought wait a second, could it be? And now I know for sure, I just added two more guys and a girl to my wolf pack. I mean Charlie you are practically a guy. You like girls just like guys like girls, right?" Alan asked me completely serious. While Doug and Stu tried not to laugh. Phil obviously has a death wish because he didn't even tried to hide his laughter. I punched him in the arm...HARD.

I started to cough out of pure shock. "Um no Alan, I'm straight. I like guys not girls. I'm really not a lesbian," I said quite flustered. Okay so in college Tracy and I may have kissed but it meant nothing. And nobody knows but us and nobody will ever know but us. But come on a lot of people experiment in college right?

"Oh I thought that was why you didn't like Phil. Well whatever, four of us wolves and one wolfette running around the desert together, in Las Vegas looking for strippers and cocaine. So tonight, we make a toast!" Alan finally finished. We raised our glasses for the toast however Alan pulled out a knife.

"What?" Stu yelled while the rest of us freaked out.

"What are you doing?" Doug asked as Alan cut his hand open and made noises usually associated with pain.

"What is that?" Stu then asked. Clearly none of us knew what to do at this point.

"Blood brothers," Alan stated as if it should have been obvious. I just covered my eyes; I am so not good with blood.

"No why did you?" Stu asked as Doug cursed under his breath.

"Here," Alan offered the knife to Stu.

"I'm not doing that. Make him stop," Stu whined.

Calmly as he could Doug said, "Alan we're not going to cut ourselves. Give me the knife slowly. Thank you. Okay thank you very much."

I looked at Phil and asked, "What the fuck?"

He just shook his head, "You all right? Okay do you need a doctor?"

Alan whimpered an 'mmh mmh' while sucking on his cut, gross. "He's fine," Doug said sternly.

"You sure," Phil asked skeptically.

"I'm good," Alan answered. I sighed in relief or disgust or both, I can't really decide.

"Good because I need everyone to focus, I want to take a moment to talk about something. I want to talk about memories; no better yet I want to talk about selective memories. You see whatever happens tonight may have never happened at all because this circle is about as far as it's ever going to get. In other words forget everything. " Phil paused while Doug and I started to giggle. "I'm serious I got a kid at home and I'm a school teacher. Okay good or bad we don't remember a thing so we got nothing to talk about. Nothing, nothing sound like a deal?"

"Deal," Doug, Stu, and I said in unison.

"Alan come here buddy," Phil said as he poured us all another shot of Jaeger.

"Get in here crazy," Stu said.

Phil raised his glass and we followed his lead, "To a night we'll never remember but the five of us will never forget." Oh how those words would come back to haunt us with a bitter vengeance.

"Cheers," we responded.

"Here we come sin city!" I yelled. 


	7. did we?

I heard a crash come from across the room but I didn't even want to think about opening my eyes. My head was already throbbing and I could tell my back was going to hate me for sleeping on the floor. I couldn't tell you why I was on the floor and not on the floor and not on the nice comfy bed in my room. I then realized I was pressed up against somebody their arms held me tightly to their body. Clearly I had myself a good time but I don't remember it at all. I wasn't ready to get up yet that was for sure but I was forced to when something slammed into me.  
"Ah fuck, control yourself man. God damn it will you put some pants on?" Phil said from next to did I do? The only thing I was wearing was Phil's black button up shirt. This is a bad dream right?  
"Phil, do not go in the bathroom!" Alan yelled his voice full of panic.  
"Alan just calm down."  
"Phil there's a tiger in the bathroom."  
"A what?" I asked unsure if I really just heard what I think I heard. Phil looked over at me a grin slowly spread across his face.  
"What's going on?" Stu asked. I shook my head and pinched myself. Yeah this is really happening, my twenty-first birthday all over again.  
"There's a jungle cat in the bathroom," Alan answered. Phil got up and walked toward the bathroom. He still had pants on maybe that was a good sign.  
"Okay, okay I'll go check it out," Phil said.  
"No, no don't," Alan whimpered. It wouldn't surprise me if he just were seeing things.  
Opening and then closing the bathroom door Phil said, "Oh fuck he's not kidding. There's a tiger in there." Like it was no big deal.  
"No there isn't," Stu said in disbelief.  
"Yeah it's big, it's gigantic," Alan continued to panic.  
"Alan please stop yelling," I begged pressing my fingers on my temples. Phil pulled me to my feet and I collasped on the the couch next to Stu. I didn't want to sit by Phil at the moment.  
"You ladies okay?" Phil asked finding his blue button up shirt and putting it on before sitting on the couch opposite us.  
"I am in so much pain right now," Stu answered. I got up to find my purse and once I found it I took out my bottle of Aleve. I looked down and found my dress on the floor, great. I got a bottle of water before sitting back down next to Stu. When I was done taking two pills Phil grabbed it from me.  
"Wait why are you wearing Phil's shirt, Charlie?" Stu asked.  
"Believe me I wish I knew but don't expect me to take it off and give it back right now. Phil did we sleep together last night?" I didn't want to know but I needed to.  
"I honestly can't remember. I was hoping I would I would remember it the second time around, " Phil said after a moment he added, "God damn look at this place." It was completely trashed. There was a chicken running around, the chair behind us was smoking, beer can pyramids, blow goods in the bubble filled Jacuzzi, the TV behind the bar was hanging off the wall.  
"I know they have my credit card downstairs. I am so screwed," Stu said.  
"I mean how does a tiger get in the bathroom. I mean it almost killed me," Alan joined in.  
"Hey bro you mind putting on pants. I find it a little weird that I have to ask twice," Phil said. I wish Alan would actually listen.  
"Pants at a time like this? I don't have any," Alan was mumbling to himself. He picked up a towel and wrapped it around his waist. That's better than nothing.  
"What the fuck happened last night?" Phil asked.  
"Something I also I wish I knew. I seriously hope we didn't sleep together," I answered.  
"Hey guys, am I missing a tooth?" Stu asked.  
"I can't see, wait oh shit," Phil said leaning in to look before laughing.  
"Oh my god my lateral incisor, it's gone," Stu said examining his mouth in a metal tray.  
I laid my hand on his shoulder trying to comfort him,"Stu it's okay."  
"Okay, okay we just need to calm down. We're fine; everything's going to be fine. Alan go wake up Doug. Let's just go get some coffee and get the fuck out of here before house keeping comes," Phil directed.  
"Don't you think we should at least try to clean up a little?" I asked.  
"No what do you think the house keeping is for?"  
"What am I going to tell Melissa? I lost a tooth and I have no idea how it happened," Stu said. I rolled my eyes.  
"You're freaking me out. I have a massive headache. Let's just calm down," Phil said.  
"Oh like we don't feel just as shitty as you do. Oh poor baby," I couldn't help but mock him.  
"How am I supposed to calm down? Look around you!" Stu yelled.  
Alan appeared again, "Hey guys, he's not in there."  
"Did you check all the rooms?" Phil asked.  
"Yeah I checked everywhere and plus his mattress is gone."  
"Yeah whatever he probably went to the pool to get something to eat. I'll just call his cell," Phil said pulling his phone out of his pocket.  
"I look like a nerdy hillbilly," Stu shined examining his mouth again.  
I couldn't help but laugh but then Stu shot me a look. I took a deep breath, "Sorry."  
A phone, more than likely Doug's phone, was ringing on the other side of the room. Alan picked it up, "Hello."  
"Alan," Phil said annoyed.  
"Hey."  
"It's Phil."  
"Oh hey Ph This is Doug's phone," Alan said finally catching on.  
"No shit," Phil said closing his phone. "Charlie, go get dressed. Let's get going.  
I got up and started walking toward my room picking up my purse and dress along the way but I stopped dead in my tracks when I heard something that sounded a lot like a baby crying.  
"What the fuck was that?" Stu asked.  
"I'm pretty sure tigers don't make that noise," I commented.  
Alan opened the closet door where the crying was coming from. Sure enough a little baby dressed in blue was staring up at us. "Who's fucking baby is that?" Phil asked.  
"Yet another thing I wish I knew," I answered.  
"Alan are you sure you didn't see anyone else in the suite?" Stu asked.  
"Yeah I checked all the rooms, no one's here. Check it's collar or something," Alan said. The baby started to cry again.  
"Shh it's okay baby," Stu said tenderly rocking the baby's seat.  
"Stu we don't have time for this. Let's go hook up with Doug and we can deal with the baby later," Phil was getting impatient.  
"Phil we're not going to leave a baby in the room. There's a fucking tiger in the bathroom!" Stu stood up to yell at Phil.  
"Did you just here what you just said? And you call yourself a father?" I said shaking my head.  
"It's not our baby," Phil said as if that was a good reason to ignore a baby.  
"Yeah I got to side with them on this one," Alan said.  
"Alright fine we'll take if with us. Can you at least just find some pants? Both of you."  
"Wow Phil that's something I thought I'd never hear you say to me," I said before walking into my room to change. 


	8. the search is on

**MEMO: I changed a lot of the storyline in chapter 5. I now realize what all your comments were refering to. SORRY! **

Why can't we remember a god damn thing from last night?" Stu asked once we were in the elevator headed down to the pool. He had ice wrapped in a washcloth pressed to his mouth.

"Because obviously we had a great fucking time. Why don't' you just stop worrying for one minute. Be proud of yourself," Phil answered leaning against the back wall of the elevator next to me and putting his arm around my shoulders.

"Stop touching me now," I said glaring at Phil.

"I don't know Phil maybe it's because I'm missing a tooth or maybe it's because there's a tiger in out hotel room which incidentally is completely destroyed. Oh no wait, wait, wait maybe it's because we found a baby, a human baby. That's it, that's it because we found a fucking baby," Stu said quite cynically.

"I don't think you should curse around the child," Alan said.

"Really? I don't think you should be around a child."

"Hey Stu it's natural to be worried but freaking out on everybody is not going to help.I mean I'm pretty sure I slept with Phil but you don't see me freaking out," I attempted to calm him down.

The elevator doors opened before he could say anything. An older, well dressed woman walked in, "Oh how cute. What's his name?" she asked admiring the baby then she looked up at me as if I were the mother.

"Ben," Phil said quietly.

"Carlos," Alan answered.

"Carlos?" Phil questioned.

I leaned in to Phil and whispered, "Let it go."

"Okay," he agreed putting his arm around me again knowing I wouldn't make a scene in front of people.

Stu and I searched the entire hotel for Doug while Alan and Phil grabbed a table by the pool for all of us. "We looked everywhere, gym, casino, front desk nobody has seen Doug. He's not here," Stu recapped our unsuccessful search.

"He's fine. He's a grown man. Seriously Stu you got to calm down. Here have some juice," Phil said setting a glass of orange juice in front of Stu.

Stu took one look at the glass, leaned over, and threw up. Wiping his mouth with the napkin I handed him, he said, " I can't have juice right now."

I moved my chair closer to Phil not because I wanted to be closer to him but so I wasn't in the splash zone. I then said, " Obviously. Anyway I don't know Phil, it's very out of character for Doug to leave and not take his phone and not tell us where he was going."

"All right, listen let's track this thing. What's the last thing we remember doing last night?" Phil said picking up a pen to write on some folded up paper.

"Well the first thing was we were on the roof doing shots of Jaeger," Alan said. And with the word Jaeger Stu made a sound like he was going to throw up again and I winced.

Phil said, "And then we ate dinner at the Palm."

"That's right and then we played craps at the Hard Rock and I think Doug was there," Alan said.

"That sounds right. No, no, no he definitely was."

"I don't even remember that," I said throwing my hands up in defeat.

Stu agreed, "Yeah you know what guys I don't even remember going to dinner."

"I know fuck. I don't think I've ever been this hung over in my life," Phil said running a hand threw his hair.

"After the Hard Rock I blacked out. I was like emptiness," Alan said and then laughed.

"Yeah hilarious Alan," I said sarcastically.

"That gets us up until 10PM. That gives us a twelve hour window when we could have lost Doug," Phil said.

"Twelve hours that really narrows it down," I said.

"What's this?" Alan asked pulling something out of his pocket. Stu snatched it before I could see it.

"Oh my god that's my tooth! Why do you have that? What else do you have in your pockets?" Stu yelled.

"NO this is a good thing. Check your pockets. Charlie, check your purse. You have anything?" Phil said.

The only thing I had in my purse that didn't belong was a napkin, "This napkin is from Phoebe's Playground." I turned it over and read the message written in Sharpie, "I hope you and Phil call me sometime. (702) 555-1623. Love, Kat," completed with a lipstick kiss.

Phil began laughing, "Maybe Alan was on to something, you do like girls." I glared at him feeling my cheeks heat up.

"Your name is on here too," I defended lamely.

"Even better a three sum."

"In your fucking dreams." "Uh anyway, I have an ATM receipt from the Bellagio 11:05 for $800. I am so fucked," Stu said putting his face in his hands.

"I have a valet ticket for Caesar's. Looks like we got in at 5:15AM," Alan said.

"Shit we drove last night?" Phil asked.

"Haha driving drunk classic," Alan said. Stu let out a fake laugh mocking Alan. "What's on your arm?" Alan then said poking the wristband on Phil's arm.

"What the fuck?" Phil asked.

"Jesus Phil you were in the hospital last night," Stu said concerned.

"I guess so, yeah."

"You okay?" Alan asked.

"Yeah Alan I'm fine."

"What the hell is going on?" Stu asked.

"Maybe I finally decided to beat up Phil," I offered.

"Stu this is a good thing. We have a lead now." Phil said.

"A lead? What is this Phil, CSI? You're not smart enough to be Grissom but this is the right place though," I said.

Alan interrupted before Phil could retort to my comment, "Hey Stu, Charlie watch this." He took the baby's fist and moved it in a motion of jacking off.

Stu tried not to laugh and when he saw the disgusted look on my face he said in a warning tone, "Alan."

Although Alan didn't quite get the message, "You ever seen a baby do this?"

Stu shook his head, "Not cool."

Phil and I joined Stu and Alan waiting for the valet to get the car coffees in hand. If I was going to function I needed coffee and I made Phil buy it for me. Next we were headed to the hospital to see if they could tell us anything. Who knows maybe that's where Doug is.

"Hey Phil I don't think Doug would want us to take the Mercedes," Alan said.

"Relax we'll be careful," Phil brushed it off.

Alan however persisted, "It's just my dad is crazy about that car and he left Doug in charge."

"Alan we have bigger problems here, Doug could be in the hospital. He could be hurt okay? Let's worry about the car later."

As Phil explained this Stu nudged me and pointed to the roof where a mattress was impaled on a lady statue and a crew was working to remove it. My eyes widened in shock. "Hey guys check it out?" Stu said getting their attention.

"Is that the mattress from Doug's room?" Alan asked.

"What the fuck?" Phil said before walking over to a guy who was packing up his car.

"Phil don't. Just let it go," I pleaded.

He asked the guy anyway, "Hey what's going on here?"

"Some asshole threw his bed out the window last night," the guy answered.

"No shit."

"Yeah some guys just can't handle Vegas."

"It's going to be okay," Phil said walking back over to us and clapping Stu on the back who was looking pale. "How the hell did we manage that?"

Just then a cop car pulled up and the valet emerged for the driver's door, "There's you car officers."

"Oh god," Stu said. He kind of looked he might throw up again.

"Alright everybody act cool. Don't say a word, just get in and Alan began opening the door along with everyone else but then a thunk was heard and the baby started crying. "Oh my god, oh my god you just nailed the baby!" Stu said frantically.

"Are my glasses okay?" Alan asked while Stu tried to calm Carlos.

"You're glasses are fine dick," Stu stood up straight to glare at Alan.


	9. i WILL kill you

"This is so illegal," Stu said for the fiftieth time. We were stuck in traffic and while the rest of us were getting impatient Stu was worrying again or should I say still.

"Can't you see the fun part in anything?" Phil asked.

"Yeah we're stuck in traffic in a stolen police car with what I'm sure is a missing child in the backseat. Which part of this is fun?" Stu asked.

"I think the cop care part is pretty cool," Alan offered.

"I feel like we really are on CSI," I added.

"Thank you, see it is cool. Doug would love it. Come on!" Phil said as he hit the steering wheel. "Check this out," he flipped the lights on the top of the cop car and then drove up on the sidewalk.

"Oh no Phil don't do this," Stu pleaded with Phil but that was not going to stop him.

"Take it easy."

"Just try to call more attention to us."

"Attention, attention please move out of the way. I repeat please disperse," Phil announced over the speaker. I couldn't stop laughing. I just wish I was in the front seat to enjoy this more.

"Stop the car I want to get out. Stop the car I want to get out. Pull over," Stu said. This reminded me of our childhood. Stu would repeat over and over that we shouldn't be doing something. Not that it ever stopped us like this one time when we set fireworks off in a beehive. So not a good idea but luckily we all found out we aren't allergic to bees.

Using the speaker again Phil announced, "Ma'am in leopard dress, you have an amazing rack."

"Really?" I mumbled to myself. It was shit like that made me want nothing to with Phil.

While Stu was yelling out the window, "Get off the sidewalk."

"I should have been a fucking cop!" Phil said.

"I don't know what is worse you being a teacher or you being a cop," I said still laughing.

Once we got to the hospital we somehow managed to find the doctor who treated Phil. He agreed to talk to us if we followed him to check up on a patient who was like an eighty-year-old man sitting in his underwear.

"Look I already told you, you came in here with a mild concussion, some bruised ribs, no big deal. However none of you could articulate how it happened. And you, miss were extremely worried about Mr. Wenneck," the doctor explained to us.

"Do you remember how many of us were here?" Phil asked as I rolled my eyes.

"I don't know I think it was just you guys, definitely no baby and one other guy."

"That's our guy! Is he okay?" Stu said a little too excitedly.

"Yeah just wacked out of his mind you all were. All right come forward and turn," the doctor instructed the old man before pulling his underwear down. I almost choked on my gum before quickly turning away as did Phil and Stu. We shared looks of horror, disgust, and disbelief.

"He could have at least warned us," I hissed.

"And that is exactly why I am a dentist and not a real doctor," Stu said. We only turned back around when the doctor said, "Okay Felix the nurse will be here in a minute. I'll see you after the weekend."

"Thank you doctor," Felix said.

"I never want to get old," I mumbled and then I noticed Alan was staring at the old man so I hit him, which broke his trace.

When the doctor turned to us he gave us a grossed out look and then began to wash his hands. "Guys I really got to go. I'm sorry I've got surgery up on the fourth floor."

Phil nodded in understanding, "No I know we just need a couple more minutes of your time," Phil pulled out a hundred dollar bill.

"Yeah tuck it right in there. I don't want to re-sterilize. Walk with me," the doctor said and we all followed him into the hallway. He walked up to the nurse's desk and grabbed a folder before walking down the hallway again. "Okay here we go patient name Phil Wenneck, 2:45AM arrival, minor concussion like I said bruising pretty standard."

"You mind if I take a look at that. I'm actually a doctor," Stu said reaching for the folder.

"Yeah you mentioned that several times last night but really you're just a dentist. Okay this is interesting you've blood work came in this morning. Wow they found ruffilin in your system," Phil looked at him blankly. "Ruffilin, ruffies, commonly known as the date rape drug."

"What are you saying I was raped last night?" Phil asked looking at me.

"Even if I don't remember what happened last night Phil, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't do that. More like the other way around," I said glaring at him.

Giving us a strange look before the doctor started to rifle through the papers in the file."Actually, no I don't think so but someone did slip you the drug. I'm not surprised you don't remember anything."

Alan laughed, "Doc none of us can remember anything from last night, remember."

I rolled my eyes and said, "It does make sense. Do you mind if I take a look I am Phil's lawyer?" It was worth a try.

"Yeah you mentioned that last night too but if there's no real legal reason I can't let you see this." I knew he was right but I pouted anyway.

"Yeah but how could someone have drugged all of us?" Phil asked.

"Look I wouldn't worry about it now guys by now the stuff is out of your system. You're going to be fine," the doctor assured us.

"Wait please doctor is there anything else like something we may have been talking about or some place we were going?" Stu asked.

"Actually there was something you guys kept talking about some wedding," the doctor said.

"Yeah no shit our buddy Doug is getting married tomorrow," Stu replied.

"You know what I want that hundred back," Phil said.

"I wouldn't have given it to him in the first place," I said.

"No, no, no easy. You kept on talking about some wedding that you just came from at the Best Little Chapel. You guys kept on saying how sick the wedding was and getting all crazy about it. Okay I hope this helps fellas I really have to leave."

"Oh dear God, if we got married Phil I will kill you. I don't care how drunk we were," I said giving him a stern look. Inside I was panicking about this so I took a peek at my left ring finger just in case I hadn't noticed a ring there earlier. Thankfully nothing.

Phil grinned at me before continuing, "Best Little Chapel, you know where that is?" Phil asked pulling out that piece of paper from earlier.

"I do, it's at the corner of get a map and fuck off. I'm a doctor not a tour guide. Figure it out yourself okay you're big boys and girls," the doctor said walking away.

We all looked at each other like 'what just happened?' He was actually more helpful than I thought he would be but then he turned all nasty. "That was rude," I muttered and then I yelled down the hall after him, "You're a prick!" 


End file.
